(From the www. Original source unknown).
A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: “No, I’m travelling light.”
A TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman: “Hello, I’d like a beer.” The barman replies: “Hello, you’d like a beer?” “Yes,” replies the TCP packet, “I’d like a beer.”
An electron is driving down a motorway, and a policeman pulls him over. The policeman says: “Sir, do you realise you were travelling at 130km per hour?” The electron goes: “Oh great, now I’m lost.”
Pavlov is enjoying a pint in the pub. The phone rings. He jumps up and shouts: “*&^%, I forgot to feed the dog!”
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that don’t.
When I heard that oxygen and magnesium hooked up I was like OMg.
The barman says: “We don’t serve faster-than-light particles here.” A tachyon enters a bar.
Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
A student travelling on a train looks up and sees Einstein sitting next to him. Excited, he asks: “Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?”
A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says: “Five beers, please.”
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender says: “What’ll it be, boys?” The first mathematician: “I’ll have one half of a beer.” The second mathematician: “I’ll have one quarter of a beer.” The third mathematician: “I’ll have one eight of a beer.” The fourth mathematician: “I’ll have one sixteenth of a…” The bartender interrupts:“Know your limits, boys” as he pours out a single beer.
What does the “B” in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Answer: Benoit B Mandelbrot.
A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.